


Gonna Try (With A Little Help...)

by petersfeather



Series: Found Family [14]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy gets adopted, Billy is Alive, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Harringrove, M/M, Will looks up to Billy and it's real cute come fight me on it, and goddamnit he's gonna GET IT, billy and will are brothers, bratty billy, canon is trash sorry bout it, if you think i'm here to follow canon then you've got another thing coming honey, just mentioned but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petersfeather/pseuds/petersfeather
Summary: "Okay but jim and Joyce and their kids having dinner and one day billy is being bratty and rude and hop having to talk to him in front of the rest of the kids (jonathan, will, el) about behaving good and billy getting embarrassed about getting reprimanded in front of his new brothers"____“Look… kid-”“I’m not a fucking kid.” Billy growls, leaning forward even more.“Language!” Hop’s voice is booming and Billy’s had about enough of this. He resents being told off like a child.“Sorry! Excuse thefuckout of me!” He’s snarling and Hop seems about as livid as Billy feels.“Go to your room!”“Fine!” Billy yells, shoving his chair back and standing up, turning to Joyce for the first time all dinner and seeing her eyes full of… concern. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Something in his chest heaves at the sight. His eyes flick over to Jonathan and then to El and then to Will…. And then his chest tightens. He looks away just as quickly.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Will Byers & Billy Hargrove
Series: Found Family [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534922
Comments: 2
Kudos: 144





	Gonna Try (With A Little Help...)

**Author's Note:**

> hello there, honey!!
> 
> i used to put a big disclaimer on this series but i'm not gonna. all you need to know is **these were originally Tumblr posts but I'm posting them here for ease of access**. it's not a full blown fic! If the writing seems a little casual, that's why. this whole series is just a bunch of asks from my blog [@okaybutlikeimagine](https://okaybutlikeimagine.tumblr.com/), which you can check out if you want
> 
> this is just some classic "Billy doesn't think he's good enough and he's confused when anyone tells him differently". 
> 
> Prompt is in the summary above!
> 
> (title from With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles)

Billy is prideful! That boy has some Leo in his chart or _something_ because if anyone so much as _smiles_ at a joke at his expense, he gets defensive. And that’s not to say that he doesn’t banter back and forth with Robin, and that’s not to say that he and Steve don’t give insults that sound like endearments, and that’s not to say that he and Jonathan don’t rib each other amicably… but it’s _different_. Pride is a very different thing.

Because Billy is legit like a little lion cub. It’s an almost juvenile kind of attachment to pride. Like a baby lion cub who’s just getting their mane in but holds their head like they’ve got the _biggest one in the pride_ , it’s a little childish (as much as he may not want to admit it).

And it’s really not Billy’s fault. That’s what he’ll tell you. That’s what he’ll tell _anyone_. It’s not his fault he’s a brat and he’ll shrug his shoulders and he’ll continue to be rude/bratty and for _some_ people (Steve) it’s charming and for _others_ (almost everyone else) it’s tolerable but for _Jim_ …. It’s…. It’s upsetting. Jim doesn’t like to be seen as “controlling” or a “hardass” or whatever but he’s not sure how he can just ignore when Billy is being disrespectful. Even if it’s only slightly. Because like…. He feels like he needs to be a _good dad_ and _good dads_ make sure their kids grow up to be good people, right? Which isn’t to say he thinks Billy is a bad person but he _worries_ because, like every parent, his biggest fear is _fucking up_. He didn’t get a whole lot of practice with Sara. And after her death he couldn’t help but think of every time he slipped up. Every time his wife soothed his hair and said: _“We have time to get it right.”_

Every day that passed with Sara in the hospital where he realized she was _wrong_. They had no more time. Their daughter was breathing her last breaths and there was _no more time_. 

It most definitely affects the way Hop parents now. The man was broken and then just…. Acquired a 12 year old. And then a _17 year old_. Like… the man would be majorly confused as to how to proceed. And then _this_ happens… 

Because Billy has mood swings. Billy is a teenager and also the human version of a bratty little cat that puffs his chest out and ruffles his own fur and may leave a few scratches but is ultimately harmless (especially now that he has a nice, loving family!) and so they’re at the dinner table and the boys are talking about their grades and whatnot and Billy may be a little pouty. Because maybe Billy didn’t study as hard as he should have for his last history test. He just thinks history is so stupid. He’d rather read a book or do 100 math problems. What’s history gonna teach him? He doesn’t need to know any more about plagues. 

So he says that. 

Jonathan’s talking about how well he did on his essay and Will is talking about how he did on his math test and Billy’s pushing carrots around when Joyce asks: “How’s school for you, Billy?” 

“Just _peachy keen_.” he sneers down at his plate. Hop tuts harshly. 

“Hey.” Hop chastises, only serving to make Billy’s blood boil more. 

“ _What?_ ” 

“Calm down.” 

“I’m _plenty_ calm.” Billy snaps back, but it’s quiet. He shoves a sliced carrot in his mouth. 

“Have you had any tests or anything lately?” Joyce asks calmly, in that motherly voice she always gives that makes Billy’s mind swirl a bit. 

“Yup.” 

“ _Billy-_ ” Hop warns and it makes Billy sit straight up, but give a challenging look in Hop’s direction as he says, loudly: 

“ _Yes_ , ma’am.” 

Joyce stops asking, but she sends a look to Hop, who’s still caught in a staredown with Billy. Billy can’t see her look, but he wouldn’t understand it if he could, because it says: _Hop, cut it out._

And the conversation shifts to significant others and then Joyce is smiling kindly at El and asking about her and Mike and maybe Hop is pouting but he’s not gonna draw attention to himself because Joyce will just hit him like she always does when he’s pouting over their kids dating (specifically El). And Jonathan is smirking a bit into his dinner but Will is visibly uncomfortable as El gushes about Mike before complaining that he doesn’t come over enough and that she doesn’t go out enough and Billy gets _irritated_. Why should he and Will have to listen to this when they don’t want to?

And he mutters something, darkly. Something about Mike and El and “ungrateful little brats”.

And everyone hears. He only half means it, but they don’t really think that far.

And Hop shoots a look his way before chewing on a carrot rather aggressively.

“Somethin’ to say?”

Billy gives Hop a challenging stare, but he backs down as soon as he starts it.

“No _sir_.” He mutters harshly.

“Then _behave_.”

“How about you and Steve, sweetie?” It’s Joyce. Being sweet.

“Happy as can be.” It sounds bitter the way he says it because it _is_. They got in a fight today. A little one, but enough to make Billy taste something sour in his mouth when he thinks about it. He figures they’re gonna make up just fine tomorrow, no flowers or empty promises needed, just another heated conversation followed by a heated make out in the front seat of Billy’s Camaro. Maybe followed by a serious talk that’ll make Billy’s face heat up because he still can’t believe this boy has Billy wrapped around his finger so fucking _tight_.

“Yeah, well Officer Callahan says you and Harrington have-”

“You _know_ his _name_.” Billy growls, resting his fork on the plate.

“ _Steve_. You and _Steve_ have been running around empty fields a lot lately.”

“ _And?_ ” Billy’s vision is turning red. It’s tunneling a bit.

“And what’s that all about?”

“Don’t really wanna give you all the dirty details.” Billy shoves some meatloaf in his mouth. Hop’s looking at him like he’s a hassle and Billy’s _proud_ of it.

“You guys shouldn’t be doing that. Someone’s gonna say something.”

“ _And?_ ” Billy’s getting madder. He puts his fork down with a loud _clang_.

“ _And_ you’re gonna cause _problems-_ ”

“For _you?_ ” Billy seethes, leaning forward a bit, just _willing_ Hop to say it.

“For _yourselves_.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy asks, leaning back in his chair, blood boiling hot. “Well what about the little twerps?”

Billy nods over to El, who makes a whining noise.

“Hey!” She calls, face pouting.

“What _about_ them?”

“I just don’t think it’s very _fair_ that it’s safe for them and not us.” Billy growls, gritting his teeth, eyebrows low.

“That’s not true.”

“It’s safe for _everyone_ else but us!” He’s _mad_. He’s mad because him and Steve have argued about this before. Argued about how there’s no _real_ point in being together if they have to hide all the time. That one time when they saw Cindy and Jason being grossly affectionate in public and Billy grabbed Steve’s ass and Steve got _mad_. They fought for a few days and it ended with them laying in Hansen’s big empty field, on the outskirts of town, talking in dreamy, far away voices about how one day they’d move to California because “It’s not like this there… trust me, babe. It’ll be so much better.”

Billy’s vision tunnels more. All he sees is Hop in different shades of red. He forgets where he is. He’s _livid_ , thinking about El and Mike and Cindy and Jason and Tommy and Carol and Nancy and Jonathan and he’s going to _scream_. His heart is racing with disdain.

“You know it’s still dangerous for El to go out.” Hop warns.

“You _know_ that’s not what I meant.”

“Look… kid-”

“I’m not a fucking kid.” Billy growls, leaning forward even more.

“Language!” Hop’s voice is booming and Billy’s had about enough of this. He resents being told off like a child.

“Sorry! Excuse the _fuck_ out of me!” He’s snarling and Hop seems about as livid as Billy feels.

“Go to your room!”

“ _Fine!_ ” Billy yells, shoving his chair back and standing up, turning to Joyce for the first time all dinner and seeing her eyes full of… concern. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Something in his chest heaves at the sight. His eyes flick over to Jonathan and then to El and then to Will…. And then his chest tightens. He looks away just as quickly.

He thanks Joyce quietly for dinner, mumbling it a bit but he thinks the sentiment is clear enough. He drops his plate off next to the sink and storms off to his room, slamming the door with probably too much force but _everything’s_ on his mind and he has the right to be a brat if he wants.

It’s just that he _hates_ just sitting here with nothing to do but think about everything. He doesn’t even have his stereo to listen to music with because he gave his to El until she can get a new one because hers broke and her nightmares have been bad recently. Listening to music before bed calms her down. Billy didn’t say anything about his own nightmares or his own need for music before bed. He wishes he had now that he’s laying in bed, about ready to rip his sheets to shreds because he’s _boiling_. He feels like a storm but, to any outsider, he looks like a toddler- red-faced from a tantrum and fidgeting and bubbling like a shaken up soda bottle.

He’s so mad he can’t even _do_ anything. The minutes pass in sticky but frantic moments of anger and thoughts and memories and the only thing his body will let him do is just _sit_ there. Lay in his bed and pull at his covers and fall into thoughts and think about Hop _reprimanding_ him like that and how _awful_ it was and how red and angry he looked and how he sent him to his room like a _kid_ and… and how Joyce looked so worried…. And how that same look was in Jonathan’s eyes…. And Will’s…. That same worried, concerned look. They all three have the same eyes- Lonnie be damned. Those boys share their mother’s eyes and all of the emotion that goes within them and it makes… it makes Billy _mad_ he’s _mad_ about it he _knows_ he’s mad and-

And…

And he calms down a bit. Calms down enough to do what Steve told him to do when he gets angry and stressed and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Because Steve’s family is “well-traveled” and Steve knows all these weird little things from all these cool different countries.

So Billy takes out his notebook and rips a couple pieces of paper out (because he saves the fancy paper Steve gave him for when he’s actually _trying_ ) and does some origami. Because Steve said it’d help him to do something with his hands and this is something he can do quietly, in his room, without being destructive.

 _”It’ll help, I promise!”_ Steve had insisted.

The hardest part is making a perfect square, because it takes too much patience and usually Billy doesn’t _have_ that. But he’s just doing this to calm down so he eyeballs it as he cuts the paper and starts to fold what he knows, which is either a heart or a crane. Those are the only 2 things Steve has taught him that he knows off hand without the instructions or Steve guiding him through it.

There’s more crumpled paper on the ground than folded paper on his desk but Steve had assured him that was more than okay. It’s kind of the point, he figures. Crumpling and ripping up the paper is almost as nice as folding it to make something, and it makes actually making something feel even better when it happens.

He’s sitting there, on his 3rd heart, when there’s a small knock on the door.

“Go away.” He calls, realizing that the paper he cut isn’t a perfect square because the corners won’t match.

“It’s Will.”

Billy pauses a bit. He goes back to folding his paper, not caring about the corners because it’s not bad enough to start over. He doesn’t say anything.

He hears the door open.

“Do you think ‘go away’ doesn’t mean you?”

“Does it?” Will asks, voice earnest. Billy looks up to see his face matches.

Billy sighs, the harsh feeling in his chest softens a bit at the boy in his doorway. He turns back to his folding.

“What do you want? And close the door.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanna come listen to records with me.” Will says, closing the door behind him.

“I don’t think they want me out there.” Billy folds his paper with his fingernail to make it sharp. It burns his thumb a bit.

“That’s not true.” Will says, taking a few steps closer. “Mom told Hop… _Dad_ he shouldn’t have done that.”

And that makes Billy _mad_. He’s not even sure _why_. It’s a heat in his chest and his face that feels like anger and he messes up his fold and he’s just… he’s _confused_ and he’s red and all he can think about is Will saying “ _mom_ ”. Not “my mom” just “mom” and also “dad” like he’s _theirs_ and Billy can’t understand it still and he smashes the paper into a ball in his hand-

“I don’t need your mom defending me.” Billy says harshly, spitting the words out like he hates them, chucking the paper on the ground. He’s too aware of the way Will flinches a bit at his harshness. He takes a deep breath.

“Uh… “ Will’s fidgeting. Billy feels bad. He sighs.

“I don’t have my stereo.” Billy leans back, running a tired hand down his face. “Ask Jonathan.”

“But I wanna listen to _your_ music.” Will says quietly and Billy believes him. Will’s been getting interested in Alice Cooper and Led Zeppelin and all of the fun bands that actually _perform_. Steve gifted Billy a VHS performance of Led Zeppelin and Will seemed to like the lead singer quite a bit.

“Well I don’t wanna go out there, pipsqueak.” Billy rips out another piece of paper. It’s quiet for a second, Billy eyeballing another square to cut. It’s so quiet, Billy thinks Will has left.

He thinks wrong.

“Can I still hang out with you?”

Billy puts the scissors down, exhausted, and looks up at Will.

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

Will shrugs. “Nothing. I just…. Like it in here.”

Billy’s confused, but he almost believes him for a minute.

“I don’t have music for you.”

“I can grab a book to read.” The boy’s so earnest, Billy knows he’s not gonna shake him.

So he waves him away with a nod and Will’s out and back quicker than Billy can think about how weird it is that this boy would rather sit in his room in silence than do something fun. Will’s closing the door carefully, latching it quietly, and moving over to sit on the bed.

Billy has crumpled up 2 more pieces of paper before Will begins to pry.

“Are you folding things again?”

“Uh huh.”

“What’s it called, again?”

“Origami.”

“Cool.” Will scoots on his knees to the edge of the bed so he can see what Billy’s doing. “Do you need any help?”

“I’m good.” Billy mutters, unconvincingly.

“I can cut the paper for you. I’m good at making squares.”

And so Will is sitting criss cross on the bed, cutting perfect square after perfect square, while Billy sits backwards on his desk chair with his arms folded on the back rest and mind racing a mile a minute. Will’s so quiet and calm, willingly coming in here just to spend time with Billy, _helping_ him now and… and something sick fills Billy’s chest. The only thing he can hear are his words at the dinner table.

"Hey-uh…” His voice sounds weird to his ears and his tongue feels thick but he’s got Will’s attention now so he needs to get it out. “Sorry.”

Will’s eyebrows scrunch up. “Sorry for what?”

_For being a dick? For ruining your dinner? For ruining your family?_

Billy shrugs.

“I dunno. Just… not being a good example.”

“Whaddya mean?” Will asks, handing over a handful of squares before working on some more.

Billy shrugs again. “I _dunno_ kid I just… I’m not like Jonathan. I’m not… I’m not a good example for you. It’s embarrassing.”

“What’s embarrassing?”

“Getting told off like that in front of you guys.” Billy turns back around so he can start folding again. He needs to do something with his hands.

“I told you, mom told him he shouldn’t have done that.”

“But he was _right-_ ”

“No, you can be upset if you’re upset. It’s fine.”

Billy falters a bit. He wonders if Will is quoting Joyce. The small boy keeps speaking.

“You’re a good example,” Will’s voice says, and he sounds so _sure_ that Billy believes him. “You’re just a _different_ one. You show me to stand up for what I believe and… and that it’s okay to be… to like boys…”

Billy stops folding altogether. Will’s voice gets quieter.

“You’re a _good_ example. It’s good to let things out when you feel them.”

Billy’s mind is racing. He’s folding without thinking about it. Because the only thing he can think about is how he got accepted into this family so _quickly_. How Hop took him in and Joyce accepted that like she was accepting a package at the door. She took him in like he was her own son and not some bratty problem child being dumped on her. And now Hop reprimands him without his fists and Joyce chastises _Hop_ for being too harsh even though he’s… doing his _job_ , whatever that entails and it’s… it’s too _much_ sometimes. It’s too much to think about but Billy knows he wouldn’t give it away for the _world_ because every moment like this reminds him that every passing day is a day further away from the pain he grew up surrounded by. The pain now doesn’t even compare to the pain then. This is so _different_ because this pain is laced with care and love.

He’s made a crane before he realizes.

“I’m glad you’re my brother.” Will’s voice sounds so far away but it crashes over Billy like a wave.

Billy nearly crushes the crane in his hand from the words. He’s so shocked at them.

He turns and gives Will the crane, not looking the boy in the eye as he gathers up the paper and the scissors from the bed.

“I don’t need any more paper. Thanks.” Billy mumbles, dumping everything on his desk.

“You’re welcome. Is this for me?”

“Yup.” Billy shoves the paper in a drawer and tosses the scissors into his pencil cup.

“Thanks!” Will’s so excited about it. Billy’s heart is fluttering.

“Wanna listen to those records now?” Billy asks, hands on his hips, fingers fidgeting because this is a _lot_ and he just…. He needs music _now_. Whatever. He realizes he shouldn’t be so scared. There’s nothing to be scared about. Will beams up at him.

“Sure!” Will gets up and rushes to the door as Billy grabs a folded heart and follows the boy out, aiming to give it to Joyce by means of apology. He thinks briefly about giving one to Hop as well, but he figures a spoken apology and a light punch on the shoulder and a promise to listen should do just fine to get the man smiling again. Because somehow- somewhat miraculously -it always does.

**Author's Note:**

> WE LOVE OUR BOY(S) ♥ Will and Billy's relationship just melts my heart into a big fluffy puddle. i think Will is Billy's favorite of the kids.
> 
> if you wanna find this particular post on my blog, it's [right here](https://okaybutlikeimagine.tumblr.com/post/616391771058028544/tumblr-wont-let-me-respond-to-asks-directly-so) for you
> 
> i'm on tumblr[@okaybutlikeimagine](https://okaybutlikeimagine.tumblr.com/)  
> my main blog is [@pointeful](https://pointeful.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thank you so much for reading, i hope you're healthy and happy, and i adore your soul ♥ ♥


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